Life is hard. Deciding that you need to seek a therapist is hard. Talking about life and how you feel to a total stranger is torture.
Luckily for you, I have been in therapy for many years. Trust me it sucks especially since I have yet to find someone who I like and will help/understands my needs. My stress levels increase 1000% starting the week before my appointment.
Once you do find that someone you connect with, it will get easier.
Today I am giving you some of the tips that I have learned from my recent years in hopes it helps ease the difficulty. I know these tips will make your therapy appointment less stressful so you can be more at ease.
Why therapy is stressful
Talking about your feelings is never easy. Especially, with someone whom you do not know well and have the right to be judgemental.
Trust me I hate therapy. I had a therapist I saw a few times but then she quit so now I have a new one which I am scared to go to because I prefer females and this is a new person to try to help
1. Write down notes
This includes during your conversation and during the time off. This way you know what you need to talk about. You also remember what they say. I can never remember what my therapist says unless I write it down. Usually, my whole session is a blur.
Feeling sad that week? Write it down. Write what made you sad, and what you did to overcome it.
Making progress during the time off? Be sure to write that down.
- A tip from my therapist- when you are having times of darkness, write in a journal. This can help heal you during that time. It can help ease the need to self-harm if you do that.
Has not worked for me in my self-harm but may work for you
2. Have someone with you when you talk to the therapist
My mom needs to be at home for every phone call. She is supposed to come into the office at all but dogs are not allowed and Kobe can not be alone. Apparently, either I or my therapist is manipulating me.
Having someone in another room may help ease your anxiety while you are on the phone. It is your conversation but a support system is nice
3. You don’t have to tell them everything
Of course, if you are feeling suicidal or having thoughts of killing people then you have to speak up.
Until you feel comfortable with them, you don’t have to tell them everything. I don’t tell my therapist what items I use to self-harm.
Being open is torture. So you can just say “Hey I don’t feel comfortable talking about that right now” they should understand and move on. No one should be pushing you into something you don’t feel comfortable doing.
If this person is being too pushy then be sure to tell the office. You should be able to get a different person who will understand
4. Breathe
Therapy sucks but it does not last forever. Make sure to take deep breaths before and during your conversation.
What I like to do before is to focus on something else so I don’t have to think about what is coming. Either that or I look threw my notes so I know what to say.
What I like to do after is breathe, do something I love like say hi to my dog and then take a nap. A nap I think cures everything
Conclusion
Therapy does not have to be 100% torture, it can be 80%. The therapist should not judge and should help. Therapy should not make your life more stressful. It is meant to help relieve those moments of pressure for you.
Just know that you are doing this to help your life. You are strong. Even if forced into therapy, you still have chosen to cooperate. You should feel really proud of yourself. I am proud of you.
Do you have any other tips that you would like to share? You can help someone who is starting or needs support.
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This was a great and very insightful post. When I first started therapy I found that talking about specific topics and steering away from things that made me uncomfortable helped a lot.